Fuck nonhipsters

Ross Douthat, new NYT columnist. Hey NYT, the point of hiring young inexperienced people is supposed to be that they’re NOT UGLY!

“I don’t go to Prospect Park just because it’s nice out. I go to show off the red helmet my mom bought me at Target.”

I bet they’ve never even heard the “Goddamn you half Japanese girl” song by Weezer

SPOTTED EVERYWHERE: is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?

These girls majored in art history and love Nirvana. But who cares? They don’t have bangs!

No Bangs = NONHIPSTER

SPOTTED NEAR PRATT: “Fat jeans are the new skinny jeans. LL Bean told me so.”

SPOTTED IN MADAGASCAR: “I carry groceries home in my apron pocket so people will think I’m an environmentalist.”

ladies ladies please! ur turning us on! i guess nonhipster “lipstick lesbians” from staten island have more fun.

Moto (some of the cups are actually wine glasses) right before the waiter told Vicki and me that it was “last call for this table.” He was all worried we would hog his table sharing one glass of white wine at a time. As if the girl next to us talking about her thesis on “the black man and the ape in popular culture” was going to tip soooo much more. Whatever; all his facial hair was the same length. Get out of Brooklyn, you fucking nonhipster.